it’s different.

There is a brightness that is currently pouring itself into my sun porch. It’s wildly invigorating, it’s much needed and greatly welcomed. It’s about time that I noticed that pure, unadulterated light trying to make it’s way into my heart. And the simple way that the cotton sheets on my bed surrounded me this morning, even if for just a moment, made me feel not so alone.

The desire to press my fingers into some keys this morning was overwhelming, and since I don’t play the piano, this is where I found myself. I don’t really know what to say, and even as I’m spilling it all out here, I’m not 100% certain where these words are coming from, but I know the heart behind them. And why.

Dear girl, you heard a voice long ago, speaking truth straight into your soul; the very fiber of what makes you, you. And you chose to let those words resonate in a different way, a path all your own, the jagged rocks of a gravel road puncturing your feet as you tread ground that you weren’t meant to. You let words and feelings sweep you off in another direction, sideways energy that took you away from the root of who you are. And you dreamed. Oh darling, you dreamed. You concocted a fairy tale that was never yours to construct. You felt it, the tangible brawn and flesh of intertwined fingers, holding for just a moment what you thought was something genuine and real. And for an instant, you deemed it good, because you were convinced that you actually felt something. And in the spirit of being honest, that’s all you really wanted… wasn’t it.

But this morning, now, it’s different. What you’re feeling is real. It’s your honest heart. The core of who you are, and who you were created to be. It’s not convoluted or mucked up by the fanciful thoughts that previously reigned supreme. A fresh start on your own path, telling your own story, and not being defined by wishful thinking and “what could have been”. That air in your lungs, embrace it. Feel the weight of that yellow mug in your grasp, and not the gravity of what you’ve just come out of. Take this as an opportunity to dance upon the blessings and beautiful moments of this life that beckon you forward, into a new place, even if just for this day, or this very moment. And don’t think that the darkness won’t try and creep it’s way in, seeping back into reality like the ever-present ticking of a clock. Because when it does, know that the victory is yours for the taking; obstacles maneuvered, crisis averted. Hold on to this light: in your sun porch, in your eyes, and in your heart, because when all else fades, it’s whats going to keep shining. You dear, no matter how clouded and jaded you feel by this world, you will shine. Love wins. It really truly does. It wins, even today when you don’t feel like letting it. And it’s yours. Right now.

So hold on to what is true and lasting. Don’t you dare let some fleeting wish be the rock upon which you fashion the beautiful story of your heart. And if by some chance you do, soak in that yummy light from your sun porch. Click some keys and spill some truth. Pour some more vanilla chai in that lovely yellow mug, turn up those Taylor Swift lyrics that captivate your heart and remind you that even though you might remember it all too well, you’re too good to be left there alone. Keep breathing. Keep moving. Keep loving. You got this.